peaceful coffee

5:30am CST

Auliya o/` O, in Ytse-land where I was born in / Early on a frosty mornin' / Look away! Look away! Look away! Ytse-land! o/`
Ytse c.c
Auliya squaredance.
[five minutes later]
Ytse's ears perk slowly as the lights in the Pub dim, and a spotlight shines on him from above.  Then, a Civil War reenactment band plays the following, to the tune of Dixie:  o/` Oh take me back to the land of bacon, beer bitches and money makin'. Look away, look away, look away, Ytse Land.  In Ytse Land it's above average, sippin' on a frosty beverage.  Look away, look away, look away, Ytse Land.  [chorus] And Ytse is a Ytse.  Hooray!  Hooray!  In Ytse Land, everything is grand, don't you wish you were a Ytse?  Hooray, hooray, hooray if you're a Ytse!  Hooray, hooray, hooray if you're a Ytse! o/`
Auliya says, "That's brilliant."
Auliya says, "We need an mp3 of that stat."
Ytse says, "But I do not have access to a Civil War reenactment band."
Auliya says, "Problematic."
peaceful coffee

Matthew can't stop.

Caramel gets a watchfor connect on a name she's never seen before. Wi's. ... check. Yup, namechange.
Matthew watches for Caramel's watchfor
Matthew writes it in Fortran. It is a Fortran Watchfor
Matthew decides to watchfor a character named 'Tran'. It is a Fortran Watchfor Tran.
Matthew goes through three iterations before he gets one he's happy with.  It is a Fortran Watchfor Tran IV.
Matthew can't stop
Caramel bites Matthew.
Matthew writes the code so it self-modifies. It is a Transforming Fortran Watchfor Tran IV.
Matthew ow
Matthew shores up the code. It is a Fortified Transforming Fortran Watchfor Tran IV.
Matthew says, "I just wish I could figure out what this linguistic thing I'm doing is. It's neither rhyming, alliteration, asonance, nor anything else I can think of."
Caramel says, "Tongue twister construction."
Matthew makes sure the code erases itself after a time. It's a Transient Fortified Transforming Fortran Watchfor Tran IV.
Matthew recodes it for portable devices. It's a Transient Fortified Transforming Fortran Watchfor Tran IV for iOS.
Matthew and scene.
peaceful coffee

:(

[after some quick tech support]
Auliya says, "Thank you for being more intelligent and helpful than Cortana."
Icewing rumbles, "Turn that bitch off!"
Auliya says, "I don't know how to turn bitches off. :("
peaceful coffee

-_-

Auliya sips coffee and stares into the middle distance.
Distance says, "HEY. My eyes are up here."
peaceful coffee

Vera says, "Got wood? ;D"

Auliya got up this morning and sat on the edge of the bed, holding socks she was supposed to be putting on, and staring out the window at the sunlight filtering through the branches of the mountain laurel just outside. After a few minutes of silence, Auliya said, "Wouldn't it be cool if the leaves pressing against the glass were the eyes of the tree looking in?"  Saaskje said, "What the actual fuck? Get the fuck up and make some coffee."
Vera snicker at Auliya.
Matthew says, "And that's love, Auliya."
Vera says, "Say something philosophical, get told 'shut up you nerd.'"
Auliya laughs and laughs.
Matthew says, "But, you know, in a loving and caring manner."
Speck says, "If those are the eyes of the tree then does that mean it's been watching you get it on?"
Vera says, "Got wood? ;D"
Auliya says, "Speck gets right to the heart of the matter."
Auliya says, "Vera sees 'philosophical' and Speck sees 'porn'."
Matthew says, "Trees try to have sex with your face all the time. It's called 'allergy season'."
Matthew says, "Or, in Texas, 'all the damn time'"
Auliya nods to Matthew. True story.
Vera dislike tree bukkake. x_x
Matthew says, "Treekake."
Matthew says, "Shrubkake."
Matthew says, "Bushkake.... no. I think I have in fact gone too far."
Matthew says, "Wait... George Herbert Walker Buskhake NOW I have gone too far."
Matthew  \o/
Vera squirtbottle Matt.
Matthew mew!
Vera spritz!
Matthew is a Maine Coon. we digs waters. Frolic!
Vera says, "It's not water."
Matthew  @.@
Vera  :3
peaceful coffee

Frenetic wurfs softly, "I think any division wtih like 4 words is too long of a name"

Auliya says, "A division at work today was renamed with great fanfare to PPDM, and to avoid the "pee pee" in it they made the acronym "PDM" - and it stands for Product Planning, Development, and Marketing. Which means they're called "We Plan to Make Some Stuff, We Make Some Stuff, We Tell People We Made Some Stuff." "
Frenetic wurfs softly, "I think any division wtih like 4 words is too long of a name"
Auliya agree, but no one asked Auliya. :|
Frenetic wurfs softly, "Well you're just a woman"
Frenetic wurfs softly, "What does a woman know"
Frenetic make tom collins
Nem says, "Frenetic is cloning someone named Tom, stop him!"
Frenetic wurfs softly, "STOP STOPPING SCIENCE"
peaceful coffee

Dave's Bread.

We're at the grocery store. Saaskje picks this bread... please look...  http://www.daveskillerbread.com/

I take one look at the logo (go to the link to see it) and smirk, and say, "I don't know if I trust the Ron Jeremy brand."

I wait for her uncontrollable laughter.  But she says, "What?"

"Ron Jeremy."

"Who is that?"

I am baffled. She doesn't know who Ron Jeremy is? So I take out my phone and I google Ron Jeremy's picture. If she sees the picture it will click.

"Look, remember this guy?"

http://media.gettyimages.com/photos/ron-jeremy-seen-at-lax-on-may-06-2014-in-los-angeles-california-picture-id488528399

"Oh!" she says. "This is the guy who makes the bread?"

"What? NO. This is Ron Jeremy!"

"Does he play guitar?" (WHAT? Oh, the guy on Dave's Bread logo is playing a guitar. Ok.)

"No, Ron Jeremy is..." And I notice there's a father and his child standing right next to us. We are in the bread aisle, after all. "He's... I'll tell you later."

"WHAT? No, tell me now. He makes bread? He's a rock star?"

"NO!" And I walk her away from the bread and toward the dairy section while looking up Ron Jeremy's wikipedia entry. "Look!" I say, handing her my phone.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ron_Jeremy

She reads the entry. Her eyes widen hugely. "Oh my GOD."

I start laughing because now she understands my joke.  "See!?"

She says, "THIS GUY ALSO MAKES BREAD!?"

peaceful coffee

Andolph says, "Ole Grandpa Ferguson was in that one. "

---
Andolph says, "also I am reminded. A sea diver discovered there's a certain shark that likes to come up and receive petting every day."
Auliya says, "I like how you say 'a certain shark' like you are protecting its true identity from the media."
[later, after I was done laughing at my own joke]
Andolph says, "what holiday is it again?"
Auliya says, "MEMORIAL DAY."
Vera says, "Memorial Day for us Murricans."
Andolph oh
Auliya says, "Remember those who have died in wars and stuff, for in their greatest of sacrifices you get one extra day off a year."
Auliya says, "Also, they liberated my grandparents from the camps, so I exist."
Auliya says, "But the day off is nice."
Andolph nodnod.
Andolph says, "Ole Grandpa Ferguson was in that one. "
Maelkoth growls, "actually you get two days off. cause veteran's day too."
Auliya ohyah!
Maelkoth growls, "I mean I guess the veterans haven't necessarily died, but. still."
Auliya says, "But we TRIED and that's what counts."
---